Hey there guys and girls it's ya girl coming at you again with a past topic that my co-host and I discussed on one of our shows a few years ago. So, I felt like resurrecting it again in this post. One of our listeners during that time, Facebook'd us and asked if we would discuss "Dating & Being Saved", because she wanted to get some different opinions and views from others about the subject, because although she was "saved & serving the Lord", you wanted to date as well in the hopes of meeting her Mr. Right!
Now this topic was one of our best! Because in this day and age, everything is for show and or about sex and "LOVE" has become so cliché in a lot of cases... so says Beyonce' in one of her song's lyrics anyway, lol. There were many views and opinions that day! as one would have imagine. Some felt that the Church bylaws kept people bound, afraid and for the most part ... single, others felt that whatever you did in your personal life was your business; one listener even said, "God knows your heart and he knows what you need, and that it was okay to quote unquote, "get you a little bit" and just ask for forgiveness later. Lol. We were all like, WHAT?!? Lol.
But in reality, "THE CHURCH" does not dictate how you should live your life or what type of decisions you should make in your life, but the Word of God should, "IF" you are truly trying to lead and live a sanctified lifestyle before man & God. Many of us are familiar with what the Bible says, about pre-marital sex right?... if not, well here you go... "we are not to defile our bodies by having premarital sex" this is found in (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13; 2 Timothy 2:22) and yes, yes, and yes again, almost every human over the age of 16 has had some sort of sexual encounter, and in a few cases, even younger than 16. But has anybody ever thought about WHY the Bible says to not have sex before marriage? Let's take a look at real quick. Did you know that in certain zip codes, according to the 2012 -2013 U. S. Census, have the highest HIV rate in many States! yes ma'am and yes sir, if you don't believe me, research it (Link Below)>>>http://www.dallascounty.org/department/hhs/documents/DCHHS_HIV_Profile_Dallas_2013.pdf). HIV/AIDS, is a an infirmity along with other sexually transmitted diseases that invade the body through bodily fluids exchanged during sex, and or, other sexual contact without ... and sometimes WITH protection is in use. Is this not desecrating ones own body? It's something to think about.
I remember leaving work one day, and seeing a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. She looked to be about 13 or 14, but it was clear she was a young teen. As others simply passed her bye, I stopped to ask her what was wrong? She stood and told me that she was 14 years old, and she had caught the bus to the Health Department (which is where the office I worked in was housed) and she had been diagnosed with HERPES... OMG! "she" was devastated!!! MY GOD! she was 14!! She's just a little girl I'm thinking. She continued to tell me that she had been trying to call her 17 year old boyfriend of one year, and, her first sexual encounter!! But, he, was not answering his phone. She said she had text him earlier to tell him she was about to get check out because she had not been feeling well, so he knew why she was calling....
In my former line of work ("My Real Job" not radio) I had seen girls as young as 10 years old, PREGNANT!! with 13 year old baby daddies, but, this was my first ever meeting someone so young with a sexual transmitted disease. So, unlike many others, I now get why the scriptures state what is says. In layman terms... "Keep you to yourself". I asked the little girl if she had called her parents and she said yes, her mom was on her way, I prayed with her right there on the sidewalk, because hey ... that's just who I am and what I do. I asked her if she attended Church home and she said yes, I told her to consider this a lesson learned, follow the instructions of the doctor, pray, and it was going to be okay. Now, of course she was so scared she probably didn't believe me, but I had faith enough for the both of us, so that was perfectly fine with me.
When we are having sex many of us are NOT thinking about God, the Bible, baby Jesus, none of that, LOL, and this goes for the proclaimed saved and unsaved, because in the heat of the moment... we're not. The Bible tells us all day long that the spirit is willing but that old flesh honey!! Lord, its just weak as sweet water, LOL. Okay, I may have paraphrased a little, but you know what I mean. God's way contradicts the world's way, check out (2 Peter 2:20) and see why. As a little 3 year old boy once told me, "God doesn't have boyfriends and girlfriends, only husbands and wives"; which is true, the Bible never spoke of courting or dating, boyfriends or girlfriends, only husbands & wives... and concubines, maid servants and handmaids, but that's another blog post I think. While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want and can, the important thing to keep in mind about the dating process is it is to discover the character of a person before making ANY commitment to him or her. (Mate Profiling) was my previous blog post, I touched on that, so if you haven't read it, please do.
As Christians we should find out if the person whom we are interested in or who's interested in us has the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desires toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). Again, keep in mind that the ultimate goal of dating or courting should be to find out life partner and not just to have some good sex, but that one person whom we are to spend the rest of our lives on this Earth with, but it doesn't always work out that way because we don't stick to the protocol of God's word. I am not saying don't date, but I am saying these are some important things that play an intricate part in our lives, or at least it should. There might would be less heartache and pain and divorce if many of us, would seek God's spirit, his character in a person other than how a person looks, or what they drive. The Bible tells us that, as CHRISTIANS, we shouldn't hook up with an unbeliever not to mention marry one (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards, you know, (premarital sex).
Sex is the number one seller in the Western hemisphere; most music, movies, books, social media, almost everything contains some sort of sexual content. It is almost impossible to avoid getting caught up in the thicket of it all, with TV shows like Scandal or Being Mary Jane and I'm not knocking these shows, because I am a viewer of one of them, but thank God I'm in a place were I don't let what I see on TV dictate my life, as those who do. If we don't teach our children that saving themselves is perfectly fine, if we don't set examples for them such as showing them healthier ways and more moral ways to live, the cycle will never end, it may never decrease, but it will only increase, causing more issues within our society. Being saved and dating is can be achieved, as long as you keep these things in mind... When one is in a committed relationship, whether dating or courting, it is important to remember to love the Lord above all else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that another person is “everything” to you or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20; Colossians 3:5). I know, I know this is heavy, and may not be the post that's for everybody, but if you would only take some time to simply read the scriptures provided and think about them and then think about your life and relationship with God, or just take a look around you, it just may all start to make since.
Many of us reject the things of God and the Word of God, because it goes against our own agenda, our plans, and what we have going on in our lives. Many feel as though we are not hurting any one, which was the mass response we got on the show that day. Someone even asked me if I had followed the scriptures of God when it came to my own life; I responded, "No" which is why I feel my life went the way it did... pregnant at 16, married too soon (22), to the WRONG person, divorced by 22, not to mention a whole list of other bad choices and wrong decision making I did, because God's way, wasn't my way. No one ever redirected me, because they too grew up in the same or similar backward cycle. I was raised in the Church so I knew right from wrong, but I didn't have a full understanding of right & wrong so I just chose wrong, making it MY right and kept going. Then, one day I looked up and I was a single mother of 3, working two jobs to make ends meet while trying to finish college.... "This part of my life.... was the HARDEST thing I have ever done next to child birth". I chose to do my own thing because I didn't understand nor did I want to take the time to understand the way of God.
Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies "especially our hearts" (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or dating relationship. Waiting is beautiful, and TODAY... I wish I had; and if those of you who are reading this, even if you have already broke the code, it's still not to late, you can still fix what is broken by simply re-assessing and re-evaluating yourself, your situation and your relationship. Society tells us to "wrap it up", well I say "keep it put up", because it wasn't until after all the heartache, pain and children out of wedlock (who also suffered) that I realized none of what I thought, felt, did, went against... was even worth it. Whether dating or courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for dating and if God sees fit, marriage. Marriage, is one of the most important decisions we will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5).
So there you have it ladies and gents!! There you have it, my thoughts and how that conversation on that show went. If it helped one person, then that show did it's job, and if those of you who take the time to read this particular post on "Serving the Lord While Dating", if any of you are helped, encouraged, intrigued, enlighten, provoked, or you simply think I'm crazy for even writing this article, it still has done what it was meant to do.
Well, until next time, I'm Lady D, and you're inside Cafe Conversations.
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