What's poppin people! Its your girl Lady D. coming at you once again with another post! This time I really wanna speak with the sistas, the single sistas but brothas yall important too, so apply where needed. I happen to have a few sista friends who have simply been having bad luck in the area of LOVE.... Yea, this is another blog about RELATIONSHIPS; but this time I really wanna shed some light on a few mistakes we as women make. You may already be aware of some of the things that I will be mentioning in this post, and if so, that's great! But, I also want to encourage you as women as well, so here we go....
Many of us have found ourselves in these fantasy relationships, you know the one, where the only one it really truly evolves is us and our imagination. Recently, I have had a couple really good friends come to me with there men friend issues, now first let me say, I am NOT a social psychologist nor am I a relationship therapist, I am just one sista that have been through her share of ups & downs hunnie in the men department, I have had my woes in the love department, and for that reason, I feel I have a lot to say on the subject.
First things first, know this, embrace it... Now, a man will do what ever YOU ALLOW him to do to you. If you allow him to take advantage of you... guess what, he will... that doesn't mean he's a dog, or a no good man, it means you have not taken out the time to truly evaluated your interactions with this man. If all you guys do is stay in and cuddle, (which usually leads to sex...IJS) and he has never invited you on a date!! Uhm, yea, that's not a relationship. oh and news flash, even if he has taken you on several dates and treated you like a queen... doesn't make you his queen (IJSA). A lot of men are momentary creatures, I hear somebody saying "WHAH?" Okay, a lot of men are with you just for the moment, and whatever he can get out of that moment he does; they get lonely too they got needs. Some men feel like the more women they have, the more of a man they are. So be sure to evaluate your interactions with these fellas and fellas you evaluate your interactions with some of these crazy sistas.
A man will not allow a women into his personal space until he trust her... Now I'm not talking about his house or his apartment, but I'm talking about his heart, his head, his thoughts his people. Now if you find a man who opens up and invites you in, you sure better evaluate your interactions with him, because that to could have a catch to it.... LOL. Okay, Okay, but on a real tip, when a guy opens up and invites you in like this, you evaluate to see how much he opens up, and how far he allows you to come in because there are always motives, trust, good or bad, they exist. These days Facebook, is the identifying factor hunnie, if you make a brother's Facebook page, he in love!! Trust me I know I have brothers, and they don't advertise no woman on their page, unless they are head over heals, rivers and mountains hunnie, in love. LOL. When a man shows you PUBLIC AFFECTION, for the whoevers to see, he is really into you, you got a winner, fall to your knees and bless the God in the Bible baby!!! because you got yourself a good one.
Often times, the scenario is the other way around, we are the ones who go posting pictures, and leaving random post like "He always puts a smile on my face" Lol, then have everybody who's nosy by nature surfing your page tryna find out what's going on with you! LOL, you know it's true. You post a random picture of you and boo, and everybody starts asking, "wooo, who is that?" "He cute" "She cute". Some guys and a few ladies, will go ballistic on you if you start to insinuate that there is more between you an him or her than there really is. Which leads me to this right here.... again... evaluate your interactions with your guy friend, boo thang, hunnie, ya baby, yo shawty!! Because he or she may not be categorizing you, at all.
Its important to mate profile, yes hunnie MATE profile!! it just might save you from a broken heart or getting yourself killed by a crazy person!! Note this, when two people meet for the first time, that's not the real them! That's right! That's not who they really are, they are the representatives that are presented at the time of the first encounter, the two who attracts themselves to each other, beware of the "REPRESENTITIVE". The real person usually shows up about 2weeks up to 3 months later, that's when you find out who they really are and then you be like, "who the heck are you and where did you come from? See, by then, you have gotten a chance to spend a little time with that person and all that Mr. Nice Guy / Ms. Nice Girl starts to subside. If he's aggressive it will start to show, if she is clingy, it will start to show, if its all about the sex!! it will start to show, but that's why you gotta stay on your "A" game and periodically evaluate the situation to avoid heart break, disappointment, and that dreadful "I just wanna know why / I need closure" Lol, why? it's because you participated and made them think it was okay to do what you allowed them to do... BAM!!! I know its heavy but hold on to it! Cause you gonna be stronger late.
Many men don't want the responsibility of a woman, we are too emotional, we expect too darn much all the time! and many women can't handle a man, being a man. We wanna try and make ourselves a man out of scraps and add-ons, and make him into what we want. Which leads me to leave you, with this. It's important to know yourself, know what you want in a relationship, and know how to spot the signs of a potentially non-relationship or a possible relationship, so that you don't waste time getting you feelings hurt. There are a lot of good people out there, but we have to be honest with ourselves, there are a lot of people with bad intentions too, and I'm tired of seeing people hurting because they wanted too much, too fast, with the wrong person.
So save yourself some heartache, and evaluate, and mate profile, but most of all, know who you are and what you want or need in your life. If you are just wanting to be with someone because you are lonely, that will not take away the loneliness, if you are worried about your biological clock, don't, because what will be, will be, if you are trying to fill any type of void in your life, please take a good assessment of yourself first, get to know you and find out what makes you happy. Its important that you have a life before you try and have a life with another person, always remember that.
Well, this post is rather long now, so I'm signing off, thanks for stopping by Cafe Conversation's, with me Lady D.
Make it a blessed one!
Many of us have found ourselves in these fantasy relationships, you know the one, where the only one it really truly evolves is us and our imagination. Recently, I have had a couple really good friends come to me with there men friend issues, now first let me say, I am NOT a social psychologist nor am I a relationship therapist, I am just one sista that have been through her share of ups & downs hunnie in the men department, I have had my woes in the love department, and for that reason, I feel I have a lot to say on the subject.
First things first, know this, embrace it... Now, a man will do what ever YOU ALLOW him to do to you. If you allow him to take advantage of you... guess what, he will... that doesn't mean he's a dog, or a no good man, it means you have not taken out the time to truly evaluated your interactions with this man. If all you guys do is stay in and cuddle, (which usually leads to sex...IJS) and he has never invited you on a date!! Uhm, yea, that's not a relationship. oh and news flash, even if he has taken you on several dates and treated you like a queen... doesn't make you his queen (IJSA). A lot of men are momentary creatures, I hear somebody saying "WHAH?" Okay, a lot of men are with you just for the moment, and whatever he can get out of that moment he does; they get lonely too they got needs. Some men feel like the more women they have, the more of a man they are. So be sure to evaluate your interactions with these fellas and fellas you evaluate your interactions with some of these crazy sistas.
A man will not allow a women into his personal space until he trust her... Now I'm not talking about his house or his apartment, but I'm talking about his heart, his head, his thoughts his people. Now if you find a man who opens up and invites you in, you sure better evaluate your interactions with him, because that to could have a catch to it.... LOL. Okay, Okay, but on a real tip, when a guy opens up and invites you in like this, you evaluate to see how much he opens up, and how far he allows you to come in because there are always motives, trust, good or bad, they exist. These days Facebook, is the identifying factor hunnie, if you make a brother's Facebook page, he in love!! Trust me I know I have brothers, and they don't advertise no woman on their page, unless they are head over heals, rivers and mountains hunnie, in love. LOL. When a man shows you PUBLIC AFFECTION, for the whoevers to see, he is really into you, you got a winner, fall to your knees and bless the God in the Bible baby!!! because you got yourself a good one.
Often times, the scenario is the other way around, we are the ones who go posting pictures, and leaving random post like "He always puts a smile on my face" Lol, then have everybody who's nosy by nature surfing your page tryna find out what's going on with you! LOL, you know it's true. You post a random picture of you and boo, and everybody starts asking, "wooo, who is that?" "He cute" "She cute". Some guys and a few ladies, will go ballistic on you if you start to insinuate that there is more between you an him or her than there really is. Which leads me to this right here.... again... evaluate your interactions with your guy friend, boo thang, hunnie, ya baby, yo shawty!! Because he or she may not be categorizing you, at all.
Its important to mate profile, yes hunnie MATE profile!! it just might save you from a broken heart or getting yourself killed by a crazy person!! Note this, when two people meet for the first time, that's not the real them! That's right! That's not who they really are, they are the representatives that are presented at the time of the first encounter, the two who attracts themselves to each other, beware of the "REPRESENTITIVE". The real person usually shows up about 2weeks up to 3 months later, that's when you find out who they really are and then you be like, "who the heck are you and where did you come from? See, by then, you have gotten a chance to spend a little time with that person and all that Mr. Nice Guy / Ms. Nice Girl starts to subside. If he's aggressive it will start to show, if she is clingy, it will start to show, if its all about the sex!! it will start to show, but that's why you gotta stay on your "A" game and periodically evaluate the situation to avoid heart break, disappointment, and that dreadful "I just wanna know why / I need closure" Lol, why? it's because you participated and made them think it was okay to do what you allowed them to do... BAM!!! I know its heavy but hold on to it! Cause you gonna be stronger late.
Many men don't want the responsibility of a woman, we are too emotional, we expect too darn much all the time! and many women can't handle a man, being a man. We wanna try and make ourselves a man out of scraps and add-ons, and make him into what we want. Which leads me to leave you, with this. It's important to know yourself, know what you want in a relationship, and know how to spot the signs of a potentially non-relationship or a possible relationship, so that you don't waste time getting you feelings hurt. There are a lot of good people out there, but we have to be honest with ourselves, there are a lot of people with bad intentions too, and I'm tired of seeing people hurting because they wanted too much, too fast, with the wrong person.
So save yourself some heartache, and evaluate, and mate profile, but most of all, know who you are and what you want or need in your life. If you are just wanting to be with someone because you are lonely, that will not take away the loneliness, if you are worried about your biological clock, don't, because what will be, will be, if you are trying to fill any type of void in your life, please take a good assessment of yourself first, get to know you and find out what makes you happy. Its important that you have a life before you try and have a life with another person, always remember that.
Well, this post is rather long now, so I'm signing off, thanks for stopping by Cafe Conversation's, with me Lady D.
Make it a blessed one!
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