Cafe' Conversations

What's poppin people! Its your girl Lady D. coming at you once again with another post! This time I really wanna speak with the sistas, the single sistas but brothas yall important too, so apply where needed. I happen to have a few sista friends who have simply been having bad luck in the area of LOVE.... Yea, this is another blog about RELATIONSHIPS; but this time I really wanna shed some light on a few mistakes we as women make. You may already be aware of some of the things that I will be mentioning in this post, and if so, that's great! But, I also want to encourage you as women as well, so here we go.... Many of us have found ourselves in these fantasy relationships, you know the one, where the only one it really truly evolves is us and our imagination. Recently, I have had a couple really good friends come to me with there men friend issues, now first let me say, I am NOT a social psychologist nor am I a relationship therapist, I am just one sista that h...

Soooooooo what’s poppin people!!! its been a long time since my last post, but this article I JUST read, JUST now, had a sista up doing some after-midnight-can’t-sleep-no-way, kinda writing, lol. So there’s this lady in Houston, who decided to wed herself on her 40th birthday…. because that’s what… she … wanted to do, if she wasn’t married by the time she turned 40…. so she threw herself a birthday wedding!! Now I don’t see anything wrong with loving you so much that you wanna do the best you can to make you happy, but is marrying yourself to far? Or does it send and extremely loud message to single male community or the unmarried period? Last I checked, there were 72 percent of African American women who were single and 42 percent of that number…. have NEVER been married… and may never marry…. unless they decide to do as this young lady did, and marry themselves. The truth is, the marrying rate within the average black community is really not that high, not as high as our Caucasian ...

If you are as I am,... single... have you ever thought about why? You tell yourself, "I am an attractive woman, I have a good job with good job stability, I make a decent living, I have my own place, my own car, and I keep myself up fairly well... so why haven't I met my Mr. Right?" Have you searched yourself trying to figure out what could possibly be the problem?  According to statistics 72% of African American are unmarried and 42% of them have NEVER been married and many never will. But, is that the fault of the black woman? Or is it that the odds are simply stacked against us, them... you? The truth is, the quality of men is the problem, not the status of the women. Many men are, unemployed, in jail, married, gay, uninterested in a serious relationship, or dead.  I had the pleasure of watching "Being Mary Jane" for the first time, and I could relate to her story on so many levels... now, I've been married (for all the wrong reasons)and I have...

Sometimes you can meet some of the best people... and sometimes you meet people who appear to be the best and they turn out to be the worst.  This piece is for all of you 40 plus crew who are looking or desiring to find love... i say to you... good luck! In society today, sex rules the nation and dating has been played out! People these days are looking for a fun time and if you hit it off in the mist great and if you don't, well better luck next time. The truth is men and women of today have seemed to give up on the fairytale called love and happy ever after, its not even a factor. It not that there are any good men or women to choose from, it's that the choices are slim and you have to dig through a lot of rotten apples before you find that golden goodness in the one that's just right for you and that ladies and gentleman... can be very discouraging. 42% of African American women are single and 72% have never been married, neither are they in danger of getting married...

The million dollar questions can only be answered with a priceless answer. Are black women today unmarried by choice?  Are there an adequate number of men available?  I'm sure there are various reasons as to why 70% of the black women in America are still single....with 42% never having been married.... but is there a solution? And just so you all know... I had to take my time and write this one... for I am a part of that 70%. I really wanted a real life snap shot as to why this stunning percentage existed, and I found myself searching for a solution... but first I needed some real life answers from real life men.  So, I took to my Facebook in boxing this question to a few of my male Facebook friends, I sent out text messages I even went so far as to set up a social dating site and posed the question to single men only from various backgrounds and so forth and so on, all this just to find the priceless answer to that million dollar question... I even had to treat one...

I had the pleasure of listening to a internet radio show the other night, and what intrigued me more than the topic it self was that it was an all male panel. Their topic, "Who's Raising Your Kids"? The discussion covered why there where so many children in black society growing up without a father and the effects this crazy reality was having on our black communities. They discussed the strain of the absentee parent placed on the household as well. But then the tables turned and one of the panelist made mention and reference to these women having babies out of wedlock, to, bitches and hoes and how he as a man did not want the responsibility of a child that was not his, no matter what the situation was. The conversation went on discussing the failures of these particular women in their choice of men whom they were making these babies with. I thought in a perfect world every child would have a father that wanted, loved and was responsible for them. I chimed in via the ...